Video game movies are almost always bad, this is just factual at this point as there has never been a ‘good’ video game movie out there. Almost every video game movie that comes out is hyped a lot, but it turns out to be a disappointment in the end and people leave the theaters feeling underwhelmed. This happened with Warcraft, it also happened with Tomb Raider, Super Mario, Uncharted, and a plethora of other movies. So, when a studio decided that it was time to bring one of the most iconic video game characters, Hitman Agent 47, people were excited. And yet they left the theaters feeling as underwhelmed as they had been with previous video game films.
How to Download Hitman: Agent 47
You can download the film from a digital store. You can also stream it. Click on the Download button at the end of this review and make your choice.
The Movie Review
Just like every single game in the Hitman series, IO Interactive had 0 intention of giving an extensive story or plot in their games. The only time they did do that, was in Hitman Absolution, and that turned out to be less than stellar as a project. Hitman works best if there’s no story attached, and that’s something that simply cannot work in a film format. To help a woman identify her father and unravel the secrets of her heritage, an assassin teams up with her.
That’s literally the plot of this film, and yes, there are twists and turns, but that’s generally it. There isn’t much of a story here so the emphasis is primarily on a rich past for both characters, in particular, 47.
Bach is constrained by a convoluted storyline by Skip Woods who also wrote the original “Hitman” film and Michael Finch. So, Bach just pushes back and resorts to a frenetic pace, coupled with eye-catching images to hide the film’s glaring narrative problems. Yes, the rest of the movie is about as straightforward as it gets in depicting the cat-and-mouse game. It doesn’t do anything inventive, not even in the action scenes where Hitman is just a one-man army, completely forgetting the core of the character. Hitman is disguise, manipulation, and treachery at its finest, but that’s completely lacking here.
Despite an intriguing first half-hour that teases the characters’ intentions, it becomes one of the most mundane films with some of the most boring, tropey, and outright bland set-pieces and narrative plot points that you’ll find. It’s also annoying to note that this film had more than enough going for it, with a decent-looking cast and the actors even being up to the role. They’re all just genuinely wasted here, as the action takes center stage and it’s not even great by any means. It’s a bit frustrating being a Hitman fan and watching this film because it does everything in its power to frustrate you.
Despite these aspects, I do appreciate what they did with the overall aesthetic of the film. It looks and feels like a Hitman film due to its presentation and visual style. It’s dark, and yet campy at its core, it’s got bad dialogue, but the actors look phenomenal in their roles due to some amazing makeup work and costume design.
Moreover, the film has some really unique camera angles at times that do take you by surprise, especially in the flashy action sequences. The music on the other hand is a bit uhh… it’s a bit hard to listen to. It’s really one of those soundtracks that you would hear in a film such as Wanted, and that’s not really something to be proud of.
Verdict
The more you can enjoy the film’s sensory delights without worrying about the plot, the better. In keeping with the spirit of its inspiration, the action is vicious and fast-paced, with heads being blown off, corpses being dragged into enormous jet engines, limbs being severed, and blood pretty much splattering everywhere. Of course, even though the action isn’t adequately planned or directed, it is aesthetically stunning, and it is the film’s biggest appeal, any other expectations going in will only disappoint you.
