I remember seeing the trailer for Heart Eyes earlier in the year. A Valentines Day themed slasher movie that was actually released around Valentines Day sounded like a great idea. For whatever reason, we never found the time to go and see it while it was on in our theatre, but this came to VOD streaming really quickly so the wife and I decided to check it out as if you read my Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street reviews, you will see, I love a good horror/slasher movie.
How to Download Heart Eyes
Heart Eyes was released on February 7, 2025. You can expect it to become available for download on streaming services such as Netflix or Amazon Prime Video several months after its premiere. Click on the Download button at the end of this review check out the current availability
The Movie Review – A Killer With a Valentine’s Day Vendetta
The premise of the movie is that there is a serial killer called Heart Eyes who targets couples during the Valentines’ Day festivities. One of the neat gimmicks about Heart Eyes is that they are not tied to one place like your traditional slasher villain is in a movie. Heart Eyes at the start of the movie, has been on a killing rampage in two cities in the USA over the last two years, and on this upcoming Valentines Day, people all over the country are worried about where he will strike next.
You see, Heart Eyes’ schtick, is that he targets loving couples who are showing affection in public. Well, this is the main motivation, but if they have to slay a few people as they walk across the street to kill a couple kissing, he will do that too. This year, Seattle is the city that Heart Eyes has decided is going to feel his blade on Valentines Day.
Introducing Ally and Jay – The Unlucky Targets
Our first main character is a young woman called Ally who has broken up with her boyfriend and now resorts to stalking him via social media! Ally has a connection with a guy she meets in a coffee shop, but her busting his nose causes her to freak out and run to work. She works in advertising and things are not going well due to a disastrous advertising campaign that she created.
Her boss is giving her one last chance and she is pairing Ally up with an advertising guru called Jay. Wouldn’t you know it, Jay is the same Guy that Ally had the connection with in the coffee shop earlier and now she has to work with him. Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding have great chemistry together and they are very likable characters.
When Romance Turns to Terror
Jay convinces Ally to meet him at a restaurant so they can discuss the advertising campaign. Well, they start to connect and then things go off the rails when they kiss in public, purely to make Ally’s ex who she runs into jealous. Well, they could not have picked a worse time to do this as Heart Eyes was across the street watching and now Ally and Kay are Heart Eyes’ prime targets, even though they are not a couple!
Two cops called Hobbs and Shaw, played by horror movie alumni Jordana Brewster and Devon Sawa are on the Heart Eyes case. Yes, they really are called Hobbs and Shaw and the movie even tries to make a joke about it. I have no idea why they are called this and why the movie felt the need to draw attention to it, it felt very weird.
Heart Eyes Delivers Blood and Gore… But Does It Deliver Horror?
When the slasher action of Heart Eyes is going down, it is a lot of fun, there is all kinds of blood and gore, it is completely over the top and I love it. The opening scene is awesome and I felt that the rest of the movie would be too! However, Heart Eyes is a very uneven kind of movie. The scene with Ally and Jay in the restaurant feels like it goes on forever and it really killed the momentum of the movie after that great opening.
The comedy here was really odd too. I am still not sure if the movie was actually supposed to be funny or not! There were some parts that felt like they were supposed to be funny, but they never actually made me laugh. As I said, the slasher stuff was great, and tons of fun, but the stuff around it, even though I liked Ally and Jay never quite clicked with me.
Final Thoughts – Worth Watching, But Not a Classic
I may give this another watch actually during Valentines Day next year and it may be something that I like more. I had fun, but this is one that I thought would be better than it was.
